


This week's podcast lineup:
6 'n 90
Reviewed by Da Man
PARANOID PARK
Directed by Gus Van Sant. Written by Gus Van Sant from a novel by Blake Nelson. Starring Gabe Nevins, Daniel Liu, Jake Miller.
DECEPTION
Directed by Marcel Langenegger. Written by Mark Bomback.
Starring: Ewan Mcgregor, Hugh Jackman, Michelle Williams.
SWING VOTE
Directed by Joshua Michael Stern. Written by Jason Richman & Joshua Michael Stern. Starring: Kevin Costner, Madeline Carroll, Paula Patton, Kelsey Grammer.
DONKEY PUNCH
Directd by Oliver Blackburn. Written by David Bloom and Oliver Blackburn.
Starring: Robert Boulter, Sian Breckin, Tom Burke.
GARDEN'S OF THE NIGHT
Directed by Damian Harris. Written by Damian Harris.
Starring: Gilliian Jacobs, John Malkovich, Ryan Simpkins, Tom Arnold.
SPECIAL
Directed by Hal Haberman and Jeremy Passmore. Written by Hal Haberman and Jeremy Passmore. Starring: Michael Rapaport, Paul Blackthorne, Josh Peck.
THE ISLANDER
Southern California TV legend, Tom Hatten, returns to share the remainder of his desert island movies.
THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT 2
For sheer jaw dropping, head scratching, mind bending disbelief, the decision to make Bazooka Joe: The Movie was an announcement we here at It's Only a Movie believed could never be topped. How wrong we were.
GEM OF THE WEEK

RIVER OF NO RETURN
Directed by Otto Preminger. Screenplay by Frank Fenton. Story by Louis Lantz. Starring: Robert Mitchum, Marilyn Monroe, Rory Calhoun, Tommy Rettia.
CULT CURIOSITY
THE LOST MISSILE
Directed by William Berke. Written by John McPartland & Jerome Bixby and William Berke (also story). Staring: Robert Loggia, Ellen Parker, Phillip Pine, Larry Kerr.
IOM ROUNDTABLE
The IOM staff takes their best guess at what 10 films in next year's Best picture catagory will be nominated.
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Such a Character: Thomas Mitchell
With all the hoopla circulating around the platinum anniversary of what was arguably Hollywood's greatest year, 1939, it's worth remembering that this entire era was rich for more than just great movies. The decades on either side of 1939 were also the golden age for the screen's great character actors. While the stars usually managed to squeeze out two, maybe three pictures a year, it often appeared that the character actors of this time were sprinting from one sound stage to the next. The good ones were very, very busy, and one of the greatest was Thomas Mitchell.


In this audio clip from the IOM archives, Islander guest Richard Herd (Episodes 14 & 15) explains how he finds the time for all the different passions in his life. While of course best know for his acting (in film, TV and on the stage), he is also an accomplished poet and painter. Other topics under discussion: soap operas; Richard's one man Cecil B. Demille show (as pictured, left); and his favorite Shakespeare plays.
MP3 File



By Da Man
MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN
Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura. Written by Jeff Buhler.
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Brooke Shields.
With a title like Midnight Meat Train, I was hoping for a little softcore porn action, but no, it wasn't to be (sadly, the filmmakers chose a different direction to go in). No. No. No. No. No.What we have here is an OK movie that might have received a theatrical release with a different title. Course the stupid ending doesn't help and the film could definitely do with a little more, shall we say, female meat. Lucky for Midnight Meat Train, they don't grade movies like they do meat, 'cause no way is this thing getting the USDA Choice Prime rating. It's more like ground chuck -- a day or two from expiration. Still... I'm in!
MADEA GOES TO JAIL
Directed by Tyler Perry. Written by Tyler Perry.
Starring: Tyler Perry, Tyler Perry, Tyler Perry.
Tyler Perry again. Why this guy's so popular, I don't know. I'd rather see a Willy Tyler and Lester movie. That would be great. A ventriloquist dummy in jail! What would happen if they sent Lester to the electric chair? Does Lester sit in the chair or Willy? Maybe there'd be a jailbreak, and the cons could whittle Lester into a wooden arsenal of fake guns. They'd paint the guns with black shoe polish, and then the unfortunate, insulting racial jokes practically write themselves. As awful as my Willy Tyler and Lester movie sounds, it would still be better than Madea Goes to Jail. If you ask me, Tyler Perry should get a life sentence for making this lame-ass movie. I'm out!
COLLEGE
Directed by Deb Hagan
Written by Dan Callahan & Adam Ellison.
Starring: Drake Bell, Andrew Caldwell, Andree Moss, Carolyn Moss.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing is worse in films than an excruciatingly unfunny, teenage fat guy. Even more unbelievable is that he gets his nut off with a big, blond college babe. Come on. Even stupid unbelievable movies have to be based on some kind of reality. I'm out on this movie, and I'm out of here like sweat off a fat guy!

The IOM staff weigh in on some of the pros and cons (well to be honest, mostly cons) of The Academy's decision to extend the number of nominations for Best Picture from 5 to 10.
MP3 File
The mad geniuses at the Motion Picture Academy gave out today with a Big Announcement:
That's AMPAS president Sid Ganis in the picture, looking all pleased with himself after making this riveting announcement. Notice he's backed by two posters exhorting the anniversary of what many believe to be the greatest year in American cinema, 1939. Perhaps Sid is under the impression that 2009 will be the next 1939. Sid, dream on.
This. Is. So. Wrong.
For Whom the Bell Tolls (Paramount)
Heaven Can Wait (Twentieth Century-Fox)
The Human Comedy (MGM)
In Which We Serve (Two Cities; United Artists)
Madame Curie (MGM)
The More the Merrier (Columbia)
The Ox-Bow Incident (Twentieth Century-Fox)
The Song of Bernadette (Twentieth Century-Fox)
Watch on the Rhine (Warner Bros.)
Casablanca (Warner Bros.)
Ohhhhhh, check out the diversity on that list. There's some comedies, some dramas, and a few war flicks. War flicks are basically dramas, right? And which of these ten were really Oscar worthy? Oh, about five of them. And The Ox-Bow Incident didn't win, so...meh! I mean, really...when was the last time anyone sat through and actually enjoyed The Song of Bernadette or Madame Curie? I have the answer. NEVER. You can throw Watch on the Rhine onto that list, too. The Human Comedy is pretty brutal as well.
(However, The More the Merrier is still pretty snappy. Check it out the next time it makes its way through the TCM rotation).
Plus, can you imagine how bloated the already over-bloated Oscar ceremony will be with, not
five, but ten Best Picture nominees. Oh, good Lord, kill me now.
Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack

The first in a trio of monsters to go up against Godzilla is Baragon, a ridiculous

King Ghidorah, on the other hand (if you're to believe the buzz), is supposed to be something altogether different.
The beneficiary of some ancient PR provided by prophets placing items in legend and lore down through the ages, Ghidorah finds himself in the unexpected position of living up to a possibly over-hyped rep. Still, there's no getting around the fact that Ghidorah is gigantic! And he can fly! And he's got three heads! And crackling energy bolts blast from each and every one of this mouths!And he's one of the Guardian Monsters!
That's got to count for something. Right? Not every monster can lay claim to that title. As a matter of fact, only three come to mind. But now that I think about it, Baragon was one of them and Mothra the other. Maybe it's not such a big deal after all.
Forget I even mentioned it.
Preoccupied with thoughts like, "If Ghidorah is a king, just what is he the king of?" and trying to decide whether the over-hyped monster is a has-been or never-was, it comes as something of a surprise to realize the three headed flash in the pan is dead. Killed by Godzilla.
Next up is Mothra, and guess what -- Godzilla kills Mothra also, kind of leaving the story with no where to go. Unaccountably, the expiring moth explodes in a Disney-esque burst of shimmering lights. Then Mothra's sparkling, iridescent life force envelopes Ghidorah, reanimating and bringing the fallen Guardian back to life.
Presented with a second chance to deliver on all the inflated claims made about him, Ghidorah rises from the ashes like a gigantic, golden, three headed phoenix, ready to do battle with Godzilla one more time and...And not surprisingly, I guess, Godzilla kills him again.
Really.
At this point, the film is dangerously close to jumping genres and turning into Groundhog Day for giant monsters as, believe it or not, Ghidorah is resurrected yet again (by the thousands of souls contained in some ancient piece of crockery) only to be killed a third time.
Fortunately for everyone involved, the third time is indeed a charm, and Ghidorah remains dead, or at least has the good sense to play possum and refuse to be humiliated in yet another terminal battle with Godzilla.
This movie has a lot of problems, and predictable, one-sided monster rumbles are only the beginning. There's also a bunch of needless mumb-jumbo about Godzilla being the personification of the pain and death caused by Japan in the Pacific during WW II.Finally, the special effects are an uneasy hybrid of guys in monster suits and CGI. Later in this final series of Godzilla films, the mix between miniature sets, rubber monsters and CGI gets pretty good, but here, instead of creating it's own sort of oddball reality, it just comes off as too ambitious at best, and intermittently cheesy and lame at worst.
Tom Hatten: Islander Guest and More
Episode 18's guest on "The Islander," Tom Hatten, is part of that rare breed, the local television celebrity. In these days of hundreds of cable channels, local television stations are little more than a place to park sitcom reruns and celebrity chat fests hosted by former supermodels and C-list television personalities. But it wasn't always that way. There was a time...You kids all gather 'round Granny, now, as she spills a tale of days long gone by...when each local TV station could be identified by its own on-air staff.
For example, if you fired up the ol' RCA Victor Color TV in your living rooom and saw Seymour, AKA Larry Vincent, you could bet you were watching "Fright Night" on KHJ-TV, channel 9 Ah, Seymour! All us kids in SoCal loved him. Side Note: I went to school with his lovely daughters, Diane and Valerie. One year, their father actually attended our Hallowe'en carnival at Lincoln Jr. High in Santa Monica. No paparazzi, just lots of pre-teen adoration to be found.

Meeting Seymour was cool, but for me, there was no greater local TV celeb than Tom Hatten. I didn't hit Southern California until I was nine-going-on-ten, so I missed most of his "Popeye Show" days. But that's just me. I know plenty of folk who grew up with Tom and his infamous "squiggles" from the time they were certified ankle-biters, and they all revere him as an important part of their childhood.
For me, it was only a couple of years after my family and I were enveloped into the Southern California fold that I caught the movie bug, and I clearly remember spending countless hours in front of the TV, practically inhaling the offerings of classic movies that were offered up over the air waves, mostly by local outlets.
Keep listening to Granny, kids, as she tells you how it was in them Olden Days. There were no VCRs or DVDs back in them times. Revival theaters were rare and certainly not within the grasp of the average teenage movie geek. If you had the inclination or desire to see a classic (or, as referred to them, old) movie, you scanned your parents' TV Guide and marked up your choices for the week (with an actual pen or pencil...no highlighters back then, kids). And you could bet dollars to doughnuts that there would be something to see on KTLA's "Family Film Festival" on channel 5.
It was there that thousands of other residents of the Southland and I came to know and love the host, Tom Hatten. Each weekend, at 3:00 PM (if I'm remembering correctly...and I believe I am), viewers would reunite with this most genial host, finding him comfortably ensconced in a chair next to a 16mm projector, holding a clipboard on his knee, and waiting to introduce his TV audience to another great film. Before the movie began, he offered an introduction; after commercial breaks, he gave out with more info about the film, the director, and the cast; and, at the end, if we were lucky, Tom introduced a special guest connected with the movie. As I say in my introduction to Tom on "The Islander," he was, indeed, the first film history professor many of us had.
Many, many years ago, I had a personal encounter with Tom on, of all places, Sunset Boulevard. I was a struggling film student at the time and was hangin' on Sunset to pick up some developed 8mm film I had shot for a class. Yes, 8mm. Imagine. You youngins can look that up. As I left the film-developing establishment, I spotted this dapper gentleman passing me, sporting a sharp satin jacket emblazoned on the back with the logo from the then new-ish musical Annie. Since I am also a musical theatre geek, I actually ran this fellow down so I could say something dopey, like, "Oh! Are you in the show?" The touring company had just hit L.A., and I had tickets to one of the first performances. The amiable fellow in the jacket turned around, and we chatted for a few moments. He told me that, yes, he was in the cast, playing FDR. Suddenly I realized that this most courtly gentleman wasn't just FDR, he was...TOM HATTEN...my "Family Film Festival" hero.
No one can ever accuse me of being suave when thrust in the face of my idols, and I remember that I babbled like a big dofus. But Tom was extremely gracious and even invited me to visit him backstage. I did, and he was enormously kind to me, going so far as offering me a tour of the backstage area and introducing me to other cast members.
He was a terrific FDR, by the way.
I also think he's a terrific castaway on "The Islander." Be sure to listen to his segments on our podcasts, Episodes 18 and 19.



This week's podcast lineup:
6 'n 90
Reviewed by Da Man
ROLE MODELS 2008 (DVD review)
Dircted by David Wain. Written by Paul Rudd & David Wain, Ken Marino and Timothy Dowling.
Starring: Seann William Scott, Paul Rudd, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Bobb'e J. Thompson, Elizabeth Banks.
CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON 2008 (DVD review)
Directed by David Fincher. Written by Eric Roth.
Starring: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Julia Ormond.
ALEKSANDRA 2007 (DVD review)
Directed by Aleksandr Sokurov. Written by Aleksandr Sokurov.
Starring: Galina Vishnevskava, Vasily Shevtsov, Raisa Gichaeva.
ROCKNROLLA 2008 (DVD review)
Directed by Guy Ritchie. Written by Guy Ritchie.
Starring: Gerard Butler, Tom Wilkinson, Thandie Newtom.
IN THE ELECTRIC MIST
Directed by Bertrand Tavernier. Written by Jerzy Kromolowski & Mary Olson-Kromolowski.
Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, John Goodman, Peter Sarsqaard, Kelly Macdonald.
RUN FATBOY RUN
Directed by David Schwimmer. Written by Michael Ian Black & Simon Pegg.
Starring: Simon Pegg, Thandie Newton, Hank Azaria.
TALES FROM THE FRONT
Lou shares war stories of his experiences in the entertainment trenches. He returns from London with stories of pitch meetings, a screenplay that refuses to die, and a love and appreciation for Hammer films that comes full circle.
THE ISLANDER
This week Nancy welcomes Tom Hatten to the island. Tom is a sourthern California TV legend. He will reveal the first of his ten movie picks to take with him to a deserted Island.
Popeye the movie is one of his picks, but you might be surprised to learn why.

SANTO vs THE VAMPIRE WOMEN
For many American Santo fans, this was the first Santo movie they ever saw (released here as Samson vs The Vampire Women). Forty or so years later, the IOM tag team of reviewers find themselves devided on its merits and whether it holds up or not.



GUILTY PLEASURES
There are some films we acknowledge as out and out classics, and others that we argue for and defend, believing that they are under appreciated or misunderstood. Then there are the films, in many instances favorite films, that we would just as soon not talk about. Sometimes these films fly in the face of everything we say we enjoy in a movie, or they simply embarrass us to admit we like them. This week the IOM staff share their cinematic guilty pleasures.



This week's Podcast lineup:
6 'n 90
Reviewed by Da Man
WHILE SHE WAS OUT 2008 (DVD review)
Directed by Susan Montford. Written by Susan Montford.
Starring: Kim Basinger, Lukas Hass, Craig Sheffer.
FROZEN RIVER 2008 (DVD review)
Directed by Courtney Hunt. Written by Courtney Hunt.
Starring: Melissa Leo, Misty Upham, Charlie McDermott.
THE UNINVITED 2009 (DVD review)
Directed by Charles Guard and Thomas Guard. Written by Craig Rosenberg and Doug Miro & Carlo Bernard.
Starring: Emily Browning, Arielle Kebbel, David Strathaim, Elizabeth Banks.
EARTH 2007 (DVD review)
Directed by Alastair Fothergill and Mark Linfield. Written by Alastair Fothergill, Mark Linfield, and Leslie Megahey.
Starring: a bunch of animals.
WENDY AND LUCY 2008 (DVD review)
Directed by Kelly Reichardt. Written by Jonathan Raymond and Kelly Reichardt.
Starring: Michelle Williams, Will Patton, Wally Dalton, Lucy the dog.
OTIS 2008 (DVD review)
Directed by Tony Krantz. Written by Erik Jendresen and Thomas Schnauz.
Starring: Bostin Christopher, Ashley Johnson, Daniel Stern.
THE WORLD THEATER
Three IOM staff members look back at the infamous triple bill that played at The World in 1971.


THE UNDERTAKER AND HIS PALS 1966
Directed by T.L.P. Swicegood. Written by T.L.P. Swicegood.
Starring: Ray Dannis, Warrene Ott, James Westmoreland, Marty Friedman.
THE CORPSE GRINDERS 1971
Directed by Ted V. Mikels. Written by Arch Hall Sr. & Joseph Cranston and Ted V. Mikels (uncrdited).
Starring: Sean Kenney, Monika Kelly, Sanford Mitchell, J. Byron Foster.
THE EMBALMER 1965 (aka: Il mostro di Venezia)
Directed by Dino Tavella. Written by Dino Tavella and Antonio Walter.
Starring: Maureen Brown, Luigi Martocci, Luciano Gasper, Anita Todesco.
THE ISLANDER
Founding editor of Defamer, Mark Lisanti, reveals the remainder of his desert island move picks.
IOM ROUND TABLE
This week the IOM staff recast some favorite and not so favorite films. A few of the titles under discussion are: The Towering Inferno, Indian Jones and the Lost Ark, and of course, On Her Majesty's Secret Service.
A DOUBLE BARREL RANT

Outrage and horror so overwhelming that this rant requires two people to deliver it. The subject of the rant? Bazooka Joe: the Movie!
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Bazooka Joe Headed For the Big Screen

Listen, the problem isn't that Hollywood has run out of ideas. It ran out of ideas a long time ago. The problem is, Hollywood doesn't even know what an idea is anymore.
Michael Eisner's office. He is speaking to his personal assistant.
Eisner: Last night. I was taking off my shirt -- and I noticed in my belly button -- this fuzzy stuff.
Assistant: Really?
Eisner: Yeah. Spontaneous fuzz. I think there might be a story in it.
Assistant: What direction were you thinking of going in with the... fuzz. Horror? Sci-fi?
Eisner: More along the lines of an environmental cautionary tale. Every man, woman, and child in America wakes up one morning to discover that their belly button has become a toxic dump site for...
Assistant: Lint?
Eisner: Sends a shudder down your spine, doesn't it.
The assistant looks confused. Eisner has a sudden inspiration.
Eisner: Maybe George Clooney could star.
Assistant: Michael Clayton 2?
Eisner: Why not?
Long silence from Eisner. Then:
Eisner: Christ. I hope George doesn't have an outtie.
Another morning.
Eisner: Have you ever noticed how when your eyelids open and close kind of slowly, there's this... well, the only way to put it is -- darkness. Usually you don't notice, I mean your eyelids move so fast. But if you slow them down...
Assistant: There's this... darkness.
Eisner: Exactly! Now try and imagine this. An entire film -- presented in Blink-O-Vision. The tag could be something like: Don't blink... or you'll miss it!
Assistant: Should that go in the press release? Or do you want to save it for the one on one with Premier?
A more recent morning.Eisner is chewing something and reading a small unfolded piece of paper. He laughs.

Eisner: Bazooka Joe. That guy really cracks me up.
Assistant: You do know, sir, we own that property.
Eisner: You're shittin' me!
Eisner swallows gum and begins to choke. Personal assistant performs Heimlich maneuver. After a moment or two, the gum pops out of Eisner’s mouth.
Eisner: All this time, we've been sitting on top a gold mine and I didn't even know it. Bazooka Fuckin' Joe. And he's ours.
Assistant: Along with Mort, Cindy, Jake and the whole Bazooka Joe gang.
Eisner: Jake? Who the hell is Jake?
Assistant: Jake is the dog.
Eisner: No. Walkie Talkie is the dog.
Assistant: Sir, you're dating yourself.Eisner: Whatever. Maybe we could change the dog's name to Cell Phone. Anyway, just think of the merchandising possibilities.
The personal assistant takes a moment to think about the merchandising possibilities before offering:
Assistant: Gum?
Eisner: It's a natural. We could hold a nation wide contest and stick chewed gum under theater seats. If you find the special gum you win a big cash prize!
Assistant: (trying not to make a face) Chewed gum? Under seats?
Eisner doesn't respond. He's lost in a reverie.
Eisner: Bazooka Joe: The Movie. It'll be the biggest thing since...
Assistant: Navel lint?
Eisner: Bigger. I'm talking big, big.
Assistant: Even bigger than Blink-O-Vision?
Eisner: Oh, yeah. It's got Blink-O-Vision beat all to hell.
The House in the Middle (Civil Defense short film)
Top General: So what are these Bolshevik bastards up to?
CIA Agent: General. Mr. President. I'm not going to soft-pedal this. I'm going to give it to you straight. They're painting their houses.
Shocked silence.
The President (shaking his head, to himself): My God. My God. It's worse than we feared.
Since the film is intended for the outlying suburbs and towns not immediately in the kill zone of a ground zero explosion, the whole issue of large metropolitan areas being vaporized is discretely sidestepped. The short also tends to focus on the atomic heat or "thermal wave" from a nuclear explosion, and doesn't have a great deal to offer on the other affects from the blast like... well, for one thing, radiation.

At this point, it comes as something of a shock to realize that Hazel might have been our first line of defense against nuclear attack. Perhaps the Civil Defense seal should have been replaced by The Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.
A final test with three houses is staged for our edification, and ultimately, what the short comes down to is a retelling of the Three Little Pigs -- with the atom bomb in the role of the Big Bad Wolf huffing and puffing and blowing the houses down. House #1 is an eyesore with leaves and trash in the yard. House #2 (the house in the middle) is painted and has an uncluttered yard. House #3 is in rundown condition due to years of neglect.
Guess which house survives? Right. The house in the middle.
Mark Lisanti, marooned on "The Islander"

Between 2004 and 2008, while I was assiduously running a reading program and computer lab at an inner-city LAUSD school, I was also spending a lot of time checking into a blog called Defamer (only on my breaks, taxpayers...never fear). Sadly, Defamer is virtually gone now, swallowed whole by its big brother, Gawker, but for those four years, it was one of the best reads on the 'net. It was a Hollywood gossip blog. There's plenty of those out there, and they are usually filled with snarky jabs and easy pot shots (I'm looking at you, Perez Hilton, and your blog-writing underlings). Defamer had something special going for it...the quality of the writing, which was unlike anything else out there in the vast blogosphere of gossip.



This week's podcast lineup:
REVIEWS
TELL NO ONE (AKA: NE L DIS A PERSONNE) 2006 (DVD review)
Directed by Guillaume Canet. Writen by Guillaume Canet from a novel by Harlan Coben.
Starring: Francois Cluzet, Andre Dussollier, Kristin Scott Thomas. Reviewed by Da Man.
DOUBT 2008 (DVD review)
Directed by John Patrick Shanley. Writen by John Patrick Shanley based on his play.
Starring: Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams. Reviewed by J.
YES MAN 2008 (DVD review)
Directed by Peyton Reed. Writen by Nicholas Stoller and Jarrad Paul & Andrew Mogel.
Starring: Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper. Reviewed by J.
THE SOLOIST (new in theaters) 2009
Directed by Joe Wright. Writen by Susannah Grant, based on a book by Steve Lopez.
Starring: Jamie Foxx, Robert Downey Jr., Catherine Keener. Reviewed by Jim Rutherford.
7 'n 90
Reviewed by Da Man
PINK PANTHER 2 2009 (in theaters)
Directed by Harald Zwart. Written by Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber and Steve Martin.
Starring: Steve Martin, Jean Reno, Andy Garcia.
CRASH AND BURN 2008 (TV)
Directed by Russell Mulcahy. Written by Frank Hannah and Jack LoGuidice.
Starring: Erik Palladion, Mirelly Taylor, Michael Madsen.
FIGHT NIGHT (AKA: RIGGED) 2008 (DVD review)
Directed by Jonathan Dillion. Written by Ian Shorr.
Starring: Chan Ortis, Rebecca Neuenswander, Kurt Hanover.
LOVE AND OTHER DISASTERS
Directed by Alek Keshishian. Written by Alek Keshishian.
Starring: Brittany Murphy, Matthew Rhys, Catherine Tate.
PING PONG PLAYA 2007 (DVD review)
Directed by Jessica Yu. Written by Jimmy Tsai and Jessica Yu.
Starring: Jimmy Tsai, Roger Fan, Shelley Malil.
THE WACKNESS
Directed by Jonathan Levine. Written by Jonathan Levine.
Starring: Ben Kingsley, Josh Peck, Famke Janssen.
CITY OF EMBER
Directed by Gil Kenan. Written by Caroline Thompson based on the book by Jeanne Duprau.
Starring: David Ryall, Tim Robbins, Bill Murray.
STEMPEL STIPEND
It's funny, sometimes, where well known locations are located.
THE ISLANDER
This week Nancy's guest on The Islander is web celeb Mark Linsanti, the founding editor of Defamer. Mark will share the first five of his ten movie picks to take with him on a deserted island.
Will Lawrence of Arabia be one of them? Listen
and find out.
A MINI-BOGIE TRIBUTE
J remembers his cinematic role model.
STAR TREK

The IOM away team renders their verdict on the latest Star Trek incarnation.
CULT CLASSICS

THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS and THE FLESH EATERS
What else do you need to know?
IOM ROUND TABLE: MOVIE MOMENTS
A line of dialogue, a scene, or a movie that resonated with you, that influenced you, or became a part of your life.
Never Weaken (classic silent comedy)
In Never Weaken, Harold Lloyd plays an odd kind of protagonist who starts out slightly duplicitous-- even if it is for a good reason. His girlfriend works for a doctor, and since business has dropped off, unless a flood of patients suddenly turns up, the doctor will be forced to let her go.
Fortunately, Lloyd has a plan to turn things around, and he hits the streets with an acrobatic friend who has agreed to fake a series of spectacular falls. After
Later in the film, Lloyd mistakenly believes his fiancee no longer wants to marry him and he decides to take his own life. Although each effort meets with failure, he continues to try to commit suicide in a series of increasingly complicated attempts.
Finally, as Lloyd so often does, he finds himself high above the city in some precarious situation - in this case, the skeleton of a high rise building under construction. With his life in imminent danger, all thought of suicide vanishes as he clings to a suspended iron girder.
Now what about this mildly criminal, suicidal, cowardly character makes him a silent comedy hero? He doesn't have the sympathy felt for Chaplin's tramp, or the amazing athletic abilities of a stone faced Keaton, but all that's really required for a silent comedian to become a hero is for him to go up against the status quo, to upset the apple cart of daily routine in some way -- any way.Silent comedy, with its gag-driven imperative and its sense of economy and rhythm, demands that every situation be mined for every possible variation and laugh before moving on to the next set up. An unintended by-product of this structure is that everyday situations are injected with a dizzying kind of possibility, revealing in the dull routine of life a world that is more playful, dangerous, interesting, and surprising than most people have the courage to challenge or even acknowledge.
The joke-driven logic of silent comedy also expresses itself in a kind of spontaneous, rapid-fire karmic justice. The relentless set up/payoff, set up/payoff rhythm creates a world of instant reward and punishment. Every action has a reaction. Bad actions are ultimately punished. Good actions rewarded. Joke after joke after joke drives this point home. Occasionally, there's even a pause for a kind of comedic grace.
You know Harold Lloyd's the hero in Never Weaken because he's the one moving forward, meeting each new twist and turn with ingenuity, giving himself over to the spontaneous, but always thinking on his feet -- adapting, reacting, always moving forward.
At the end, it really doesn't make much sense that Lloyd gets the girl (although he certainly did in real life...Mildred Davis, our ingenue here, ultimately became Mrs. Harold Lloyd). He really hasn't done anything in a narrative sense to deserve it. But by his ingenuity, his inventiveness, and his insistence on never giving up, of hanging in there until the seemingly arbitrary casino logic of the possible finally pays off, he reveals himself to be a classic silent comedy hero who has risked all for the one and only thing worth risking everything: love.
And so he gets the girl.
But make no mistake about it. Never Weaken isn't about anything but being funny. The single burning question at its center is: how many jokes can be crammed



By Da Man
The Day the Earth Stood Still...
Directed by Scott Derrickson. Written by David Scarpa.
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Kathy Bates, John Cleese.
...or as I came to know it, The Day the Movie Theater Stood Still. Instead of exiting the film repeating the famous phrase, "Klaatu barada nikto ," I came out muttering, "Why can't they do a remake at least as good as the original?" I wish there was a phrase you could say to a deadly robot that would make it enter any theater playing this remake and destroy the projector running it! I'm out!
Walled In
Directed by Gilles Paquet-Brenner. Written by Rodolphe Tissot, Olivier Volpi, Sylvain White and Gilles Paquet-Brenner. Starring: Mischa Barton, Cameron Bright, Deborah Kara Unger.
Listen up, peeps! Watchin' this thing is about as exciting as watchin' a guy build a brick wall brick by brick by brick. I only wish to God someone had been in the projection booth makin' a wall in front of the projector! I'm out!
The Children of Whang Shi
Directed by Roger Spottiswoode. Written by Jane Hawksley and James MacManus.
Starring: Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Radha Mitchell, Yun-Fat Chow.
What made this movie boring was the lack of even one karate chop or kick and an over abundance of Chinese kids. And get this: not only is there no karate in the movie, these kids don't even know how to do karate. This just made the movie way too unbelievable! Hell, they should have used the projector as a martial arts dummy to kick and chop and practice on, and then made a real movie about Chinese kids who kick some butt! But this thing -- I'm out!
This week's podcast lineup:
REVIEWS


GOAL II: LIVING THE DREAM (on DVD) 2007
Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra. Written by Mike Jefferies, Adrian Butchart and Terry Loane.
Starring: Kuno Becker, Stephen Dillane, Lenor Varela. Reviewed by Da Man.
SEVEN POUNDS (on DVD) 2008
Directed by Gabriele Muccino. Written by Grant Nieporte. Starring: Will Smith, Rossario Dawson, Woody Harrelson, Michael Ealy. Reviewed by J
THE MIST (on DVD) 2007
Directed by Frank Darabont. Written by Frank Darabont, based on a Stephen King story.
Starring: Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Toby Jones. Reviewed by Jim Rutherford.
JOHN LOVES MARY (Classic film) 1949
Directed by David Butler. Written by Henry Ephron and Phoebe Ephron, based on a play by Norman Krasna. Starring: Ronald Reagan, Jack Carson, Wayne Morris, Edward Arnold, Virginia Field, Patricia Neal. Reviewed by Lou Aguilar.
REVIEW-OFF


J takes on Da Man.
18 reviews in 5 1/2 minutes.
May the best reviewer win!


STEMPEL STIPEND
Film history and screenwriting professor Tom Stempel shares a mini observation about the movies.
THE ISLANDER
Part Two of Nancy's interview with veteran stage, screen, and television actor Richard Herd (T. J. Hooker, Star Trek: Voyager, Seinfeld).
GRIM REAPER ALERT
IOM ROUND TABLE
Foreign films remade in America, and why that isn't always a great idea.
Buried Treasure: The Gay Deception (1935)
I never knew much about the split-back formation play in football or how many Triple Crowns a particular baseball player had won, and despite being an avid NBA fan, I remain relatively untutored in the concept of running the picket fence.
Recently, a fellow IOM reviewer, whom shall remain nameless (are you reading this, Steve?), chided me for daring to watch The Express, a film bio of Ernie Davis, the first African-American to win the Heisman Trophy, without knowing anything about football.
How could I enjoy a sports film without knowing anything about the sport?
At the time, I hadn’t realized I needed to review the greatest college football games, know all the plays, and research every Heisman Trophy winner before even sitting down to watch the film--let alone enjoy it.
I felt enlightened. Yet, I wondered...How could I have liked this the movie without knowing anything about football? Where had I gone wrong?
(Although this is a canard; as a kid I played football with said IOM reviewer, and I know plenty about the Heisman Trophy. It just happens that I'm more into basketball than football.)
I examined my shallow knowledge. Truly, I had been deprived.
The first time I watched The Pride of the Yankees, the Lou Gehrig story, I hadn’t known how many RBI’s he had in a season (that’s runs batted in. There, now that you know that, you’ll enjoy this commentary more).
Yes, I knew basketball. But I’d never followed high school basketball, or heard of the 1954 Hickory Huskers, or what the damn “Picket Fence” that Dennis Hopper kept shouting about in Hoosiers was. But they better run it, or lose!
Ernie Davis was fast. I was sure of that because the movie The Express showed hooligans chasing Ernie as a boy as he raced away. But I had no idea of the running back’s many accomplishments on the field.
Yet, I was shocked at the ending of The Express; I erupted for joy in Hoosiers; I wept for Lou Gehrig in Pride of the Yankees.
Perhaps these movies aren’t really about the sport. They're about the people, their desires, the problems they face, and how we root for them to the end. The sport is just a stage to act on.
So don’t let ignorance prevent you from viewing a sports movie (unless it’s the remake of The Longest Yard. UGH! What were they thinking?).
The characters just might sweep you up their story. Hell, afterward, you might be inspired enough to go out and rent some DVD games of the sport.
Right this minute, though, I’m on my way to the library to read up on windshield wipers before I rent Flash of Genius. I know it’ll make the movie a whole lot better.
Go Lakers!
Pass in Peace: Beatrice Arthur
Much has been said over the past few days about the passing of Bea Arthur, so I thought I'd chime in for a moment. I know this forum is intended as a movie blog, and Bea wasn't actually a movie star...
High and Dizzy (classic two-reeler)
The acceptance of this fact has probably cut down on traffic fatalities, enabled families to face a problem once swept under the rug and ignored, and is part of a number of realizations that must be faced before taking that first shaky step on the road to sobriety.
Unfortunately, we've paid a heavy cinematic price for this enlightened attitude. I don't bemoan the loss of a Foster Brooks or even Dudley Moore in Arthur, but silent comedy drunks, when done by the likes of Chaplin or Keaton, well, it's like watching some wonderful shitfaced ballet. The drunk with all his unfortunate comic possibilities is lost to any up and coming comedian, but thankfully, we still have silent movie comedy shorts and features.
In the annals of pie-eyed pratfalls, Harold Lloyd's two-reeler High and Dizzy is definitely a *high* point (pun intended. OK, OK. Puns about drinking aren't funny either, but that's not because of a shift in attitudes. It's just because they're puns). Lloyd and a friend get completely blotto and attempt to make their way home, ending up in a hotel where they can sleep off their drunken afternoon binge. Throw in a sleepwalking love interest and you've got 26 minutes of near disasters, perfectly choreographed mayhem, and visual comedy that depends on split second timing that can stop and turn on a dime.
Admittedly, there's not a great deal that's new joke-wise. You get bits where two guys put on the same coat at the same time, each one with an arm in one sleeve. There's the always reliable loading lift that arbitrarily goes up and down in a city sidewalk, descending and taking Lloyd out of sight just as a policeman rounds a corner, or rising as an inebriated Lloyd is walking down the street and about to step forward into the empty shaft. The drunk routine is like a virtuoso piece of music. The notes never change. It's all about the performance. Complicated, but clean and direct. Difficult, but appearing effortless. The drunk has three emotional gears he can shift between. Happy camaraderie, confusion and belligerence. There's more than enough emotional range to provide variety and pacing for a two-reeler.
Finally, High and Dizzy even manages to set up and pay off a completely ridiculous and screwy ending, which, while being abrupt and unlikely, is still completely satisfying.
Look. I know no one wants to hear this, but drunks are funny.
Sometimes.
Just look at Harold Lloyd.
From the Trenches: Scarlett's Sin
Way back when, back when I started out in my career as an Educational Professional, I could be found slogging away in an inner-city middle school, attempting each day, in my own little way, to elevate the minds of the squirmy and squirrely little 8th-graders entrusted to my care. I run into one or two of them every year or so, now all shiny and grown up, and the fact that they are not drooling and picking at scabs tells me that I at least didn't completely injure their fragile adolescent psyches. Too much.
Kiddie Korner: The Shiloh Series: Shiloh, Shiloh Season, & Saving Shiloh
Based on the Newberry Award-winning novel by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, Shiloh is the name of a beagle that eleven-year-old Marty (played in the first film by Blake Heron) rescues from an abusive owner.
What makes this story stand out from the rest? The action is based on moral dilemmas that all the characters must struggle with. There aren’t any chases, big battles, or any hero coming in at the last second to rescue the day.
The parents are real, not Hollywood clueless idiots; the kids act like kids and aren’t allowed to sass back. Marty respects his parents, but must make up his own mind to do the right thing. His dad (Michael Moriarty for the first two films) stands on principle: Another man, Judd (Scott Wilson), owns the dog and Marty must give him back. In addition, the family is poor and struggling, and a dog costs precious money.
Judd, the brutal owner and local hunter, has his own demons. His father beat him when he was a child, and he can't remember a time when he didn’t have welts on his body. He treats his animals the same way he was treated, and he laughs when he hears Marty has named his animal. Judd, after all, just whistles when he wants his dogs and kicks them if they don’t do what he says.
Shiloh is the catalyst here. In the first story, Judd cracks a bit when he lets the dog out of his truck and allows Shiloh to run back to Marty. Judd has left the door open for change. The next two films are about his redemption. Marty figures that if love and friendship can turn mistreated dogs into loving pets, why can’t the same happen for Judd? Marty never gives up on him. The climatic ending to the final story will make you cry (or sniffle a lot).
Rod Steiger plays Doc in the first two films of the series, (the last film is dedicated to his memory), a man who runs a general store in the rural area, Doc can fix up animals as well as people, and he becomes a wise mentor to the young boy.
As a side note: I met Rod Steiger a few years ago at a play my acting teacher, Bob Monroe, took me to see. Afterward, Rod and Bob got together for a chat, giving each other jazz like two old cronies. They knew each other from New York when they were both struggling actors.
Steiger talked honestly about his life: “I’m too old and fat to have a baby and be a dad.”
He said this with melancholy and regret in his voice. A year later he passed away, and I thought how sad it was that his son would grow up without a father.
There’s a moral dilemma here, too: What is the right thing to do, and for whom?
See the Shiloh series with your children, or better yet, have them read the books and talk about them afterward.
This reductionist idea carries over to the characters as well. Hilliard eventually ends up wearing a coat with the word "GOD" embroidered in large letters on either sleeve. The people who have bought into his "immortal" agenda wear a patch with an F on it to let us know they are "Followers." I was half-expecting a character to show up with a sign around his neck that proclaimed "Reporter" or maybe for another character to walk in wearing a T-shirt that read "Plot-Twist."
Some stuff worth knowing: Timothy Carey is probably best know for his role in Kubrick's Path's of Glory. He's one of the three soildiers being executed for cowardice and not following orders. In the film, he is sarcastic and somehow both intense and laconic at the same time. And, of course, there are dark circles under his eyes. Does this man ever sleep?Ray Dennis Steckler (director of The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?) was the cameraman, and there are some genuinely striking images mixed in with more pedestrian and low budget aesthetic stuff.
Finally, Frank Zappa did the music, and the title song is a classic.
Richard Herd: Islander Guest and More

Hollywood is filled with stars, but these stars come in different forms. There are the stars who continuously burn strong and bright over the years and seldom disappoint (How ya' doing, Meryl Streep?). There are the ones who explode dynamically when they hit the scene, only to burn out, little by little, flickering only occasionally (How's it hangin', Matthew McConaughey?). Finally, there are those stars who initially appear with great brilliance and promise, only to crash and burn and either fade away or hang on, only to be listed occasionally in one of those "Where Are They Now?" articles (I'm looking at you, Tatum O'Neal!).
Dorothy Comingore is a name I'm going to repeat, Dorothy Comingore. I won't have to repeat it much longer -- you'll be repeating it.












